your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
