Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dick very happy bro
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
