I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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