Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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