I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
