you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I bet he comes in French.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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