Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
