I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
