That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
