he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
