I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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