he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
