his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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