Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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