last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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