ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
