Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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