Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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