dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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