i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
