She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize