I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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