Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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