i permit you to call me
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't deserve a penis
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize