If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
