Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
