I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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