i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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