i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
