you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize