She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
