So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
