I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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