I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
