Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize