All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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