well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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