she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
