I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
