i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
