I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This house was built for laser tag.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
