I wannas sexs uuuuu
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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