8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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