You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Even my vagina gasped.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
