So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
