God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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