her vagine was all disorganized.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize