Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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