So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're breaking my sexual little heart
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize