my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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