I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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