Jerry, you need to find god
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
home. puking in laundry basket.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
