this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
