Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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