Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
