Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
