I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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