Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
