my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
