dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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