It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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