id be glad to
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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