He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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