Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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